Leaving an abusive relationship is often seen as the end of the danger. In reality, it can be one of the most dangerous and emotionally exhausting periods a survivor will ever face. When an abuser loses physical access to maintain control, many shift their tactics. One of the most common and least understood strategies is post-separation coercive control. This can include misusing systems and institutions that are in place to help victims. One especially damaging tactic involves threats to report a survivor to child protection agencies or hotlines as a way to maintain control.
Using Hotlines and Child Welfare Threats as a Weapon
One increasingly common tactic used by abusers is the threat to call Child Protective Services to report the other parent as a way to instill fear and force compliance. The fear of losing custody of a child or even being investigated (particularly if you work in a field where this could affect your job, like childcare), can create fear, chronic stress, and more.
Making false reports
The abuser might threaten to make false reports of abuse or neglect against the non-offending parent. Even if the allegations are unfounded, fear of the threat alone can often coerce the parent into meeting their demands.
If an abuser does make a false report—and many abusers do this repeatedly—the investigation process can be stressful, time-consuming, and exhausting for the non-offending parent and the children. Even when there is no abuse or neglect, the threat alone can create intense psychological trauma. Survivors may live in constant fear of a knock on the door, an investigation, or losing custody even when they are loving, attentive parents.
For many victims, these threats are effective because:
- Investigations, even unfounded ones, are stressful and intrusive
- Survivors already fear being disbelieved due to past manipulation
- The abuser may have a history of lying convincingly
This tactic turns systems meant for protection into tools of intimidation.
Why Abusers Use This Tactic
False or malicious reporting is about retaliation and domination. It is a calculated and concerted effort.
Abusers weaponize hotlines and reports because:
- It allows them to continue control without physical proximity.
- It creates constant fear and hypervigilance.
- It pressures survivors into silence, compliance or contact.
- It can interfere with custody, employment, and housing.
- It punishes the survivor for leaving.
- It reinforces the abuser’s sense of power.
The Impact on Survivors and Children
The emotional toll of these threats is devastating. Survivors often experience:
- Chronic anxiety and panic
- Sleep disturbances
- Fear of seeking help
- Isolation
- Financial stress from legal costs
- Trauma responses triggered by every unexpected phone call or knock
Children are affected as well even if they never directly interact with the abuser. They may sense their parent’s fear, witness investigations, or live with instability created by constant legal threats. This is why post-separation abuse is now recognized as one of the strongest predictors of ongoing danger.
How Survivors Can Protect Themselves and Their Children
While no one can completely prevent a malicious report, survivors can take powerful steps to protect their safety, credibility, and peace of mind.
- Tell Children’s Division that you are a victim of domestic violence, and that the abuser is making false reports to punish you.
Keep detailed records of:
- Threatening texts, emails, voicemails
- Social media messages
- Court filings and legal intimidation
- Any mention of calling child services or hotlines
Save screenshots and back them up securely. Documentation can be critical evidence of coercive control.
- Build a support network.
Let trusted people know what is happening:
- Domestic violence advocates such as those at the Greene County Family Justice Center
- Attorneys
- Therapists
- School counselors
- Pediatricians
- Family or close friends
The more professionals who understand your situation, the harder it becomes for false allegations to take hold. If you choose to call Greene County Family Justice Center, you can make a safety plan with an advocate, meet with a civil attorney to determine your rights and consider whether an order of protection would be a good fit for you, and report false reporting and/or harassment to law enforcement if you feel comfortable doing so.
- Prepare emotionally for the possibility
Being prepared does not mean you expect wrongdoing. It simply means you are protecting your family.
- Keep your home safe and organized.
- Maintain your child’s medical, school, and therapy records.
- Continue normal routines.
- Keep communications calm and factual.
Preparation helps reduce fear and builds confidence.
- Prioritize Your Mental Health
Living under threat is emotionally exhausting. Trauma-informed counseling or survivor support groups can help you process fear and hypervigilance, rebuild your sense of safety, and strengthen emotional resilience. You deserve to heal, not just survive. And you do not have to face this alone.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we can help plan how to stay safe. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
About GCFJC
The Greene County Family Justice Center is a non-profit collaborative of local agencies offering comprehensive services to survivors of domestic, sexual, and family violence. Our services are trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and we welcome survivors at any point in their process. We partner with local non-profit service providers as well as local law enforcement, the Prosecutor’s office, and Children’s Division to make victim services more accessible and completely voluntary. If you do not want to participate in the criminal justice process, we support you.
Our vision is a future where we all work together to meet the needs of domestic violence and human trafficking survivors through comprehensive and accessible services, education, and perpetrator accountability. Through a coordinated framework and co-located response, we strive to break the vicious generational cycle and community impact of domestic violence and resulting victimizations.
We can help you plan for your safety whether you plan to stay in the relationship, or you are actively trying to escape. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Have questions about what services are available? Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.