If you suspect someone you know is being abused, it’s natural to want to help, but it can be challenging to know what to do. Read on for ways to support that person in a compassionate, effective way.

1. Recognize the Signs of Abuse

Abuse can take many forms and isn’t always visible. Knowing the warning signs can help you recognize when something might be wrong.

• Physical signs – Bruises, cuts, frequent “accidents.”
• Emotional signs – Isolation, lowered self-esteem, anxiety, or drastic mood changes.
• Financial signs – Restricted access to funds, being dependent on someone financially despite wanting independence.
• Behavioral signs – Constantly checking in with their partner, withdrawal from social activities, and secrecy about their life.

2. Approach with Care and Empathy

Approaching someone about suspected abuse requires sensitivity. Make sure they feel safe and supported.

• Choose a safe setting where they won’t feel threatened or judged.
• Use “I” statements to express your concerns gently. For example, “I noticed you seem more withdrawn lately, and I just wanted to check if everything is okay.”
• Listen without judgment. Allow them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with.

3. Respect Their Boundaries and Decisions

While you may want them to leave the situation immediately, it’s essential to understand that the decision to leave or seek help is complex and deeply personal. Pushing them could add to their stress or even put them in danger. Try these methods instead.

• Let them know you’re there to support whatever choices they make.
• Reassure them that they deserve to be safe and respected.
• Encourage them to make their own decisions, providing resources rather than direct advice unless they ask for it.

4. Offer Resources and Information

If they’re open to it, provide information on resources that can help.

• Family justice centers are multi-disciplinary service centers that provide co-located services. If there is not a family justice center in your area, National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support, safety planning, and connections to shelters and legal aid.
• Local shelters and support groups can be safe havens with people who understand these experiences.
• Counseling services and therapy can provide tools to help with healing, decision-making, and moving forward.

5. Be Patient and Consistent in Your Support

Abuse survivors often experience emotional highs and lows, especially if they feel trapped.

• Check in regularly to remind them they’re not alone.

• Reassure them that there’s no timeline for leaving an abusive situation.
• Support them in small ways, like offering a place to stay, rides, or company.

6. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone through this can be emotionally draining. Make sure you’re also caring for your own mental health.

• Seek support for yourself if needed, whether through friends, family, or counseling.
• Set boundaries to protect your emotional and physical well-being.

Supporting someone who is experiencing abuse is a courageous and compassionate act. By being a non-judgmental ally, offering information, and respecting their choices, you can help them find a path toward safety and healing. The journey out of an abusive situation can be long, but your support can make a world of difference.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we can help plan how to stay safe. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.

About GCFJC

The Greene County Family Justice Center is a non-profit collaborative of local agencies offering comprehensive services to survivors of domestic, sexual, and family violence. Our services are trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and we welcome survivors at any point in their process. We partner with local non-profit service providers as well as local law enforcement, the Prosecutor’s office, and Children’s Division to make victim services more accessible and completely voluntary. If you do not want to participate in the criminal justice process, we support you.

Our vision is a future where we all work together to meet the needs of domestic violence and human trafficking survivors through comprehensive and accessible services, education, and perpetrator accountability. Through a coordinated framework and co-located response, we strive to break the vicious generational cycle and community impact of domestic violence and resulting victimizations.

We can help you plan for your safety whether you plan to stay in the relationship, or you are actively trying to escape. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Have questions about what services are available? Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.