When domestic violence is present in a home, children are often the silent victims, bearing emotional scars, living in fear, and sometimes even stepping into roles far beyond their years. Even when the abuse is not directed at them, witnessing violence can have devastating, lifelong effects on a child’s mental and emotional wellbeing. As a parent or caregiver, it’s critical to take protective steps that can help reduce the risk to your children and give them tools to navigate these frightening situations.
Below are some protective measures and safety strategies that can help keep children safer in homes impacted by domestic violence.
- Make a Safety Plan with Your Child
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that can help children respond more safely when violence occurs. It should include the following things.
- Where to go – Identify a safe place they can run to if violence occurs. This could be a neighbor’s house, a friend’s home, or even a specific room in the house where they can lock the door and stay safe.
- How to get out – Practice safe escape routes with your child, just as you would for a fire drill.
- Code words – Teach your child a code word or phrase that means they should call for help or leave the area quietly.
These plans should be simple, age-appropriate, and practiced calmly when the abuser is not around.
- Teach Them to Call 911 in an Emergency
Children, even as young as four or five, can be taught how and when to call 911. It’s important they know the following.
- How to dial 911 on a cell phone or landline.
- What to say – Teach them to clearly state their name, address, and say, “There is violence in my home. Please send help.”
- When to hide and call – If possible, children should call from a safe space, but they should not wait if someone is in immediate danger.
Reinforce that calling 911 is not “getting anyone in trouble,” it’s getting help when someone is being hurt.
- Let Them Know They Do Not Have to Protect You
One of the most heartbreaking truths is that children often try to intervene during incidents of violence to protect the abused parent. This is dangerous and places them directly in harm’s way.
Reassure your children that their job is not to stop the fight but to stay safe and try to get help if they can. Also remind them that you are the adult, and it’s your job to protect them—not the other way around.
Let them know that running for help, hiding, or calling 911 is brave.
- Identify Safe Adults They Can Talk To
Help your child identify safe, trustworthy adults outside the home who they can confide in. This might be a:
- Teacher
- School counselor
- Coach or mentor
- Trusted friend’s parent
- Spiritual leader
Let your child know it’s okay, and even encouraged, to talk to these adults about anything that scares them at home. You can even role-play how to start these conversations.
- Validate Their Feelings and Keep Communication Open
Children living in homes with violence often feel confused, guilty, scared, or angry. They may blame themselves or worry about what will happen if they speak up.
You can help by:
- Reassuring them that the violence is not their fault.
- Encouraging them to talk about their feelings.
- Listening without judgment or pressure.
- Reminding them that their safety and feelings matter.
Open, compassionate communication can help children feel less isolated and more empowered.
Domestic violence is a complex and painful experience, but no child should have to navigate it alone. While the ultimate goal is to remove yourself and your children from the violent environment, we understand that this is not always immediately possible. In the meantime, taking these protective steps can make a difference.
Please remember that help is available. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. Protecting your child starts with giving them the tools, language, and permission to seek help.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we can help plan how to stay safe. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
About GCFJC
The Greene County Family Justice Center is a non-profit collaborative of local agencies offering comprehensive services to survivors of domestic, sexual, and family violence. Our services are trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and we welcome survivors at any point in their process. We partner with local non-profit service providers as well as local law enforcement, the Prosecutor’s office, and Children’s Division to make victim services more accessible and completely voluntary. If you do not want to participate in the criminal justice process, we support you.
Our vision is a future where we all work together to meet the needs of domestic violence and human trafficking survivors through comprehensive and accessible services, education, and perpetrator accountability. Through a coordinated framework and co-located response, we strive to break the vicious generational cycle and community impact of domestic violence and resulting victimizations.
We can help you plan for your safety whether you plan to stay in the relationship, or you are actively trying to escape. All our services are free, confidential and survivor centered. Have questions about what services are available? Visit us at 1418 E. Pythian Street or give us a call at 417-874-2600. We are open 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Monday through Friday. For after-hours assistance, call the Harmony House/Victim Center’s 24-hour safe line at 417-864-SAFE (7233). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.